8 Signs If Your Marriage Is In Good Place Or Not
Every now and then we read about ways to keep your marriage on the right track. However, being in marriage is a tricky thing. For new couples sometimes marriage decision seems a big mistake. Often people question their sanity of saying yes to their now better half.
So here are some signs to know whether your marriage was a good decision or not?
1. Each Other’s Pillar
Marriage is a bond like no other. Your partner’s support could mean tons in the coming years. It is extremely important to marry someone who will be supportive and motivating. It is equally important that you become that positive partner in the marriage who will also encourage your better half to excel instead of holding them back. Married couples should work on this to lead a healthy life where they support each other especially men; instead of telling their wife, your goals and dreams should be limited to bearing and raising children.
As I type this I recall funny dialogues from Munnu bhai’s classic drama serial Sona Chandi that went more or less like the following between the maid and her baji.
Begum sahiba: “Mian biwi gari ke dou payon ki tarah hote hain, chandi”
Chandi: “Magar bibi gi, gari ke tu chaar payey hotay hain”
2. Please change, you are not good enough
Intuition is an important part of you. So do not ignore when it tells you something especially about your marriage decision. Keep in touch with your gut feeling. If your to be husband or wife seem right say yes otherwise don’t. You don’t want to marry someone who wants you to change. But that also means that you got no right to tell your partner to change so and so in them just because it is not up to your standard. Husband and wife adapt to each other with time. So even if your new partner has some weird habits, be hopeful they might change.
But if you want them to change their personality, change their habit of treating you properly, or expect them to change, they cannot and will not, just like you won’t change for others.
3. It is about gelling in
It is important that both the people in a relationship fit into each other’s lives. In a new relation it takes time to adjust with each other’s families and friends. You will not like everyone is his/her family, and vice versa but there has to be some kind of wavelength that matches to make your interactions bearable and friendly with the new family.
4. Good relationship means being good listeners
You would know if someone is going to be a good life partner if they are also good listeners. We all love to talk and being heard but only few of us are actually good listeners. You know your marriage is going to be strong if you both listen to each other. If you or your better half go on talking just about yourself it is a bad sign.
Listening to good stuff you have to say is easy to listen to. But are you or your partner listening to each other when one is down, when one is not really talking? It is important to see if you are tuned into each other’s feelings. A good marriage can exist if you are there to comfort when the other is sad, upset or silent. A simple gesture such as a hug, a kiss, a pat on the shoulder, a few words of comfort can make a big difference.
5. Value each other’s happiness
A healthy married life means that husband and wife are happy to see each other happy. This could be linked to how supportive your other half is. One has to be there to not just share their happiness but provide opportunities to be happy. We often hear that marriage requires constant effort and that is true. There has to be constant effort to make sure a happy environment and good vibes are there to keep the relationship going.
6. Arguments happen, are you dealing with them?
Even in ideal relationships people fight and argue. The important thing is to know the boundaries. A mature marriage is when couples argue, disagree but come to realize they cannot force their opinions on each other. A good relationship should consist of growing together after arguments and disagreements. You have to live together like friends not enemies.
7. The restaurant sign
Dining out with your partner is one of the romantic things one does as a newly wed couple. However, if you both are looking around, failing to strike up good conversation it is a sign both of you need to work on your relationship. it is new, so do not worry much. But remember, being out together means you can stare at each other as much as you want away from the constant watchful eyes of the in laws and relatives.
8. Are you or your partner a narcissist?
People are never completely good or completely evil. Life is not a Star Plus soap. People are good but they can also be manipulative and annoying. Manipulation can start subtle, without the other person noticing. But a self obsessed man/woman makes the other doubt themselves. They break your confidence in your own self. Making someone doubt their sanity, their common sense can hit hard on a person’s psychology. A healthy marriage has no room for such people.