“Please Make This Tea Stronger!”- The Words Broke My Heart to Tiny Little Pieces, Because… It was a Funeral
Life teaches us lessons every moment, every second. Willingly or unwillingly, directly or indirectly, we are learning 24/7 not from any teacher or internet or books, but from experiences and observations. Happiness, celebrations, griefs, mourning and people… all are part of this teaching cycle.
Few days back, a dear one departed from this world. He was a young boy that had a very sudden death. Parents and siblings were proving to be the picture of excellent Sabar, BUT there were moments when their silent screams became audible.
I am a very non-emotional kind of person, but a parent. It was hardest for me to see that mother crying, sometimes bitterly and sometimes holding her tears real hard.
I was feeling palpitations in my stomach as the time of Tadfeen was coming closer. The thought that mother would never be able to see her son again was sending chills down my spine. And the time never stops, it kept on heading towards the final moments.
Four men came near the dead body, loudly said, Kalma Shahadat, lifted the Charpai near their shoulders and started walking towards the door. The devastated mother got up from the chair, I put my hands on her shoulder, she sat down, but she couldn’t get hold of herself, and said Hayei Mera Bacha…
Time keeps on passing… Our bodily needs never stop, its natural. Moments after the dead body was taken to the Janaza Gaah, lunch was served, followed by the tea. Tea was being served when someone said, can I please have a tea bag, it’s not strong at all, we can hardly drink it.
The people were not invited for a lunch or high tea, they were at that place for sharing the grief the immediate family was going through. At first place, it was absolutely fine if people don’t eat or drink “tea” when they’re on funeral, and even if they do, why don’t they learn the manners.
It’s totally understandable that only the near ones can feel the pain of loss, but I think everyone has the common sense of muting their heart desires for few moments.
Somewhere inside, I was ashamed and guilty of myself too, because I am not sure that I have never behaved such heartlessly ever.
It’s high time we should learn how to behave in accordance with the occasion. Its ok to stay quiet on a funeral and pray for the departed soul and patience for the family.
There is a very comprehensive dua for the Maghfirat of Mayyat;
PS, never ever talk about the infirmities of the departed soul, be them physiological or psychological. The heart broken family members do not want to listen to them. Its fine to stay quiet, but if you MUST have to say something, try to talk quality. Try to talk something that you feel appropriate to listen in case you are at that place.
Death is a cruel fact, we all have to face it. We all have to die ourselves ad have to experience the deaths of our loved ones too. So, never say anything that you are afraid to listen.